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Archive for April, 2010

The Wall Of My Fear

 

Oh I how I long to soar!

I want to fly above this fear!

I want to glide above the roar!

Your voice alone to hear!

 

How I long to fight the fight!

Wielding my sword

Winning battles left and right!

 

I sense You pulling me along

My heart wants to go

And yes, my spirit does long!

 

But I seem to run smack into a wall!
Afraid of rejection

Afraid of the fall!

 

I look at the wall and it seems so tall!

How do I scale this, Lord?

I cannot tell at all!

 

I yearn to climb over

I yearn to crawl under

I yearn to go through!

 

You tell me, “Fear Not”.

You require me to obey.

You want to help me succeed

In what matters to You today!

 

Lord, help me look at Your strength

For without I have none.

Help me give the fear to You

Until all these victories are won!

 

Psalm 18:29 For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.

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Jesus~ Jacob’s Answer

So, this morning I came across a few verses that set me freshly on fire for the Word of God. Last night our family and another young couple whom we have adopted started a study on the life of Joseph. I have heard the stories of Joseph’s life since I was a child, but there is just nothing like, digging in and finding truths for yourself and God speaking gently to your spirit through your time in the Word.

This morning we did a little family background on our protagonist. Needless to say Joseph’s family had their issues. However, as I read the account of God giving Jacob the promises in Genesis 28 my heart begin to see anew the faithfulness of God. Look at this!

Genesis 28: 13 And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. 14 Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Now, this was a good while before Joseph was born. But if you know anything about his life you know that because of the wisdom that God bestowed on him, the nation of Egypt and the surrounding nations were kept alive during the great famine that took place. So, I underlined these verses thinking about how God was so faithful to His Word. I got a little further and felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me to go back and read it again. As I begin to read, verses from the New Testament begin to go off in my brain like fireworks!  This was the first;

Matthew 12:18 “Behold, my servant whom I have chosen,
my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased.
I will put my Spirit upon him,
and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.
19 He will not quarrel or cry aloud,
nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets;
20 a bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not quench,
until he brings justice to victory;
21 and in his name the Gentiles will hope.”

Who is this passage talking about? JESUS! Then as soon as my mind jumped to that I immediately thought of the family line of Jesus… check this out!

Matthew 1:1 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3 and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram, 4 and Ram the father of Amminadab, and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5 and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6 and Jesse the father of David the king.

And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, 7 and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph, 8 and Asaph the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, 9 and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10 and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos, and Amos the father of Josiah, 11 and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon.

12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel, and Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13 and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, 14 and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, 15 and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16 and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.

In case you missed it, Jacob’s son, Judah was a Great Great Great (many Greats) Grandfather of Jesus! Now read again this passage;

Genesis 28:13 And behold, the Lord stood above it  and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. 14 Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Do you see it? “All the families of the earth be blessed.” That is me! That is you! God ultimately fulfilled this promise, not through Joseph but through Jesus! Praise God!

Thank you Lord for Your Word! Thank You that You are faithful to Your promises even though Your timing is not ours!

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Heaven’s Face

 

When I try to grasp what heaven looks like,

My vision comes up short

My imagination takes flight!

 

I read words like, “streets of pure gold

Gates made of a single pearl,

Foundations made of Jasper

Sapphire, agate, and emerald.”

 

Beauty like this my mind cannot comprehend!

And when I try, I realize afresh,

Deanna is only human.

 

But, oh what joy my soul feels

As I see with my eyes

The reality of heaven is that

There will be no night!

 

No more night, no more gloom

No more black, no more gray

For the Son of God

Will be my every day!

 

The Bible says I will see His face!

Does any jewel compare?

There is not one that would take His place!

 

My heart does not often,

 Long to go as it should.

It gets caught up in the things of today

The cares of the world, yes,

The things that vanish away.

 

“Jesus, may my eyes look at Your face

As my feet are on this earth

Let my soul be caught in Your embrace!”

Revelation 22:4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5 And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

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Prayers That Move God

The last  two weeks I have read Nehemiah, Ezra, and I am now in 2 Chronicles (Yes, I am aware I am going backwards). I have been moved by many actions and truths in these Old Testament books, but I believe the most moving truth that I see is the prayers that men prayed and an Almighty, All Powerful, Creator God chose to answer.

Prayer has always been a harder discipline for me to carry out. For my first 5 years of a believer (13-18) I struggled to maintain a daily quiet time at all. When I was 18 through a series of painful happenings God gave me a desire for His Word that has been unquenchable for 15 years. But prayer has been another matter. To take time  daily, and really focus it on God and what He wants in my life and the needs of others, has been a challenge. That is one reason I blog. Another thing that I do which my friend Karen, has inspired is to journal my prayers.

However, there is nothing like OUTLOUD prayers. Nothing like experiencing the Holy Spirit  move you from one thing to the next as you search out His heart on a matter. There is nothing like the peace you feel after you have emptied yourself from praise, petitions, and pain. Nothing.

As I read how Nehemiah took his heart for the city walls to God, and how God gave him such amazing favor, and Ezra took his passion for the temple to God, and God again graced him with the favor of another pagan king and, King Solomon finishes the temple, hits his knees, lifts his hands towards heaven and begins to thank God, remind Him of His promise,  beg for mercy for future sins, and then invite God into His “resting place”, WOW… I am challenged once more.

Yes, God knows what we need. Yes, God knows our hearts desire. Yes, God sometimes will answer even before we take it to Him. But I believe He wants Deanna to take all her praise, petitions, and pain to Him on a regular basis. No telling what kind of favor, or fire He will send as I begin to be obedient in this way.

2 Chron 6:30 then hear from heaven your dwelling place and forgive and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways, for you, you only, know the hearts of the children of mankind, 31 that they may fear you and walk in your ways all the days that they live in the land that you gave to our fathers.

 

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New Routines

Deut 4:39 know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. 40 Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the Lord your God is giving you for all time.”

Have you ever had to get into a new routine? Maybe you have moved, started school, summer vacation, a new job, marriage, and so on? It’s HARD! At first it may seem exciting, but then you realize all of the details involved in making sure that everything gets done even in this new routine. I remember right after my husband and I got married, I struggled in this new routine when he would go to work. Before marriage to Tony, I worked 3 jobs, was a single mom, and kept very busy with my church (namely my small group). So here I was in a new state, no church family yet, in a small apartment that took 20 minutes to deep clean, and a stay at home mom again. When Tony was home, my time was taken with him, when he was at work, the kids and I went through doing our chores so quickly we had no idea what to do next!  This was hard for me. I had to learn how to let God dictate to me what He wanted. What was it? For me to make up for lost time with my kids. For me to spend lots of time with Him in His word and prayer. For me to rest. Goodness, that last one was so needed! God is so good to call us away from our busy routines and give us sweet rest.

Recently, we have had another change in routine. We have had to get out of our gym contract due to the gym changing ownership and hence insurance that did not cover our two younger children working out.

So…Now, we get up and have our bible time, run here and work out with dumbbells here. We really were not that upset since it is more convenient to do so. However, yesterday as I worked out, I realized how many things in my workout routine I would have to change, research, and so on. After running for a week and a half on pavement, I can tell you, it is HARD! After changing the ways I perform certain exercises, I can tell you, it is HARD!

Today, I woke up and yep…I am sore.

God does this in our lives, doesn’t He? He is constantly shaking up our routines, to make sure they include Him. Not just time with Him in the morning, but throughout the day. Maybe you are going through a rough change of some kind, can I make the suggestion of talking to Him about it. See what He wants from you. Truly give Him control over what your day looks like. Yes, this is hard. But He is good. He is always faithful. May He let us know what he wants from us, and may we do it.

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No More.

 Revelation 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 

Where does the sea end?

Where does it stop?

For that is where you throw my sin.

 

When my heart feels heavy

By sin and pain

When my joys are not

Found in You once again.

 

When I have hurt the ones I love

And it seems they cannot forgive

When my heart wants to bury itself

And maybe not really live.

 

When my past the enemy

Wants to bring up

What can I do,

To hold myself up?

 

I remind him that my sin is forgiven

I remind him that I am bought with a price

I remind him that he can condemn no more

And get rid of that crazy memory device!

 

The Word says the sea will be NO MORE

Is that why You put my sins all there?

The Word says that I will remember no longer

Why? Because Your love is stronger!

 

Thank you Lord for this hope you give,

Thank you for this blood You shed,

It is for You that I live

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To My Children

 

One day you will be grown

No matter how much I worry, yep

You will be “out on your own.”

 

But, wait! That is not true!

You see my children

There will always be One with you.

 

One that is higher than anything!

One that can hold you

When life falls apart

One that can give you

 For Him, an un-divided heart.

 

This is my prayer for each of you

No matter what comes your way

Whether the storms of this life

Or on the brightest, sunniest day.

 

You will recognize Who He is

This God who loves you so

In fact, He loves you more

Than a mother’s heart could ever know.

 

May you serve Him above all else

For He alone deserves it

May you stand on His promises

And in the early morning hours,

Hearing His voice, at His feet, just sit.

 

Then putting the “do” to what you hear

May you conquer life’s battles

And allow Him to still your fear.

 

For it won’t be too long

Till you see Him face to face,

His arms will be worth the pain

His home, will now be your place.

 

I will be there too

Knowing above all else

 He alone is worthy

To Him all praise is due

For He alone saw us through.

 

Run the race

Fight the fight

Keep His word

With all your might!

 

1Chron 29:19 Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”

1Chron 28:9 “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. 10 Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary; be strong and do it.”

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